Holding a conversation about suicide
Holding a conversation about suicide
Jordan (they/them), a 36-year-old, self-referred to the clinic seeking therapy to address grief they describe as “prolonged.” This was eight months after the death of Alex, their partner of 10 years. Jordan reports feeling stuck in their grief, with difficulty re-engaging in daily routines and activities they used to enjoy. The therapist warmly greets Jordan and invites them to share what brought them in for therapy. After a few moments of silence, Jordan speaks quietly.
I’ve just been feeling... lost. I thought I’d be doing better by now, but I’m not. Some days, it feels like it just happened yesterday.
It sounds like it’s been really tough to move through this loss. It makes sense that it still feels fresh. What has life been like for you the last few months?
--Jordan takes a breath and shares more about their experience. They mention isolating from friends, struggling to find motivation to go to work, and feeling emotionally numb most of the time. Jordan says they’ve tried to keep busy, but it hasn’t helped much. Jordan shares that there are moments they are at work and they just begin crying out of nowhere--
You’ve been carrying a lot. When people go through overwhelming grief, there are often feelings of hopelessness and sometimes thoughts of wanting to die. Have you had any thoughts of death or dying?
Yeah... there have been moments where I just wished I didn’t have to wake up or that I could just go be with Alex
Thank you for sharing that with me. It is a normal part of grief to long for the people that we have lost. Can you tell me more about the specific thoughts that come up for you?
I’ve thought about how I would do it... even looked up online how to buy a gun. But I didn’t buy it. I don’t think I’d actually do anything. I couldn’t put my family through what I am going through now.
I hear you. It’s important that you’re able to talk about these thoughts in a place you feel supported.
Things to consider.
The therapist did not judge the patient for sharing thoughts about suicide. Instead the therapist normalized the experience as something that can clinically arise as a part of grief.
The therapist did not rush the client to the ER for evaluation and admission to the hospital. Rather, the therapist explored more in depth to gather more information to build a plan that was reflective of the patient’s risk and resources.
What emotions and beliefs came up for you when reading this vignette? How can your awareness of your own response impact how you show up for the patient?
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